


And this is why we don't tell York where we're going....

by TFPaddict



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Crack, M/M, York is a troll, and Wash has no patience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3940669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFPaddict/pseuds/TFPaddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>North: “Oh, have we told you about the time Wash nearly killed York on our first date?”<br/>Wash: “NOT MY FAULT! How was I supposed to know he was allergic to sushi when even he didn’t know?!?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	And this is why we don't tell York where we're going....

**Author's Note:**

> Get well ficlet for a friend who needs it~ 
> 
> Maybe out of character a bit, it’s the first time I’ve written RvB but it’s crack so it’s okay. ;D
> 
> Note: They never mentioned North’s name in the series, so don’t take that as canon.

“Oh, have we told you about the time Wash nearly killed York on our first date?”

“NOT MY FAULT! How was I supposed to know he was allergic to sushi when even he didn’t know?!?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wash toyed with his silverware as he waited for North Dakota. Wash hadn’t expected to be asked out on a date by the older man, and was nervous as hell about it. He’d been attracted to the soft-spoken agent for some time, and now that they were at the first date stage Wash didn’t know what to do with himself – especially at the fancy restaurant that North has suggested they go to. They’d slipped out separately to avoid gossip from the rest of the Freelancers, but North should be along any—

Wash started, dropping the silverware to the table as North slipped into the chair across the table from him. The blonde man gave him a calm smile and nod, his eyes sparkling. “Wash,” he said in greeting, voice low and smooth.

“N-north,” Wash stuttered, cursing himself for the stutter. He ran his hand through his hair. “Um, you can call me David?”

North smiled brilliantly. “Then you can call me John,” he said, voice low, almost a purr.

Wash cleared his throat and glanced down at the menu he was somehow gripping. “….John,” he repeated.

North grinned and picked up the menu, flipping it open. “So what looks good~?”

“Umm…” Wash realized he wasn’t really reading the menu, so named the first thing he saw. “How about sushi?” His gaze slipped to the price and his eyes widened and he flushed as he realized he’d just named the most expensive thing on the menu.

“Sounds like a plan,” North said amicably, lowering the menu and hiding a smile at the other man’s embarrassment. He signaled the server and placed the order, giving Wash a chance to recover. As soon as the server left, North smiled reached across the table and covered Wash’s hand with his own.

Wash’s breath caught as North’s fingers stroked sensually over the back of his hand, and he flushed for a completely different reason. He opened his mouth, not quite sure what to say, when suddenly an unfortunately all-too-familiar voice spoke from behind him.

“Well, well, look at this pretty picture~” York crowed. He sauntered around to stand at the end of their two-seater table, a shit-eating grin on his face and amused lilt in his voice. “I’d wondered where you two slunk off too.” His gaze fell on their clasped hands, and if possible, his grin got _wider_. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I join you, right~?”

Wash stiffened as York pulled a chair up to the end of the small table, turning it around so the back was to the table and straddling it, folding his arms along the back of the chair and resting his chin on his folded arms.

“Don’t you have something _better_ to do?” Wash got out through gritted teeth.

“Nope, not really!” York cheerfully replied. As the server returned with their order and reached past York to set the tray on the table, his grin turned wolfish. “Sushi for two, huh? Soooo…. You gonna feed each other too~?”

“No, we aren’t! And of course you don’t have anything else to do, small minds, easily amused and all.”

York raised an eyebrow and glanced to North. “You shouldn’t let your boyfriend mouth off like that. I’m sure you ride his ass often enough, what’s one more thing on the list?”

“Now, now,” North said placatingly as Wash growled dangerously and York smirked, “We’re all friends here. I’m sure we can—"

“Wash is looking pretty tense there North, did you have a mission last night and weren’t there to tuck him in~?”

The last thing York heard was a roar of anger before Wash was out of his chair and knocking him to the floor. North sighed and mournfully offered his cred chip to the server to pay for the meal which was currently being shoved in a flailing York’s mouth in an effort to shut him up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And incidentally, we’re now permanently banned from that restaurant… all three of us.”

“…… _Still_ not my fault. York started it.”


End file.
